can’t carry beer on a 1 ton

It was Friday.  Had to go to the gym.  (Mon. Wed. Fri.)

I’m in the pickup headed down the driveway.  Properly dressed……..shorts, T shirt, proper support for the boys, and flip flops (I’m flat footed, and don’t like to lift in tennis shoes).  ALL IS WELL WITH THE WORLD.

About 3/4 of the way down the driveway, just before the gate, it happens.  Engine dies, and a puff of the magic blue smoke starts to curl up from between the steering wheel and the steering column.

I’m thinkin’ bonfire, weenies, and marshmallows.  Not good.

Pop the hood.  Race around the front of the pickup.  Unhook the battery.  (Who said Momma raised an idiot?).

So now I got this pickup sitting there, blocking the driveway.  Time for a call to K’kins.

“Hey sweetie” .   I’m about to ask for a BIG  favor.

“When you get home, would you mind steering the pickup while I tow it up the driveway behind the tractor?”

We get it to where I can work on it, and it isn’t blocking in/out.  Kewl!!


So………..Haven’t worked on the pickup yet.  It’s still sitting there.

BUT, NOW IT’S BEER niteI get one night a week to swill some brew.  Monday.

No pickup, only the 1 ton.


But we’re talking desperate measures.  You gotta to do what you gotta do.

Off down the highway, towards town, to pick up some beer.  Thing rides like a lumber wagon.  Oooomph!  I HATE DRIVING THE 1 TON.

Pull into the Quickie Mart.  Open the door.  Sashay on into the store.  Plunk my money down.  And now I’m the proud owner of a 12 pack of Bud Light (finest beer on the planet).

Plop that baby on the bed of the truck.  (I will not drive a vehicle with alcohol within reach inside the cab, police tend to frown on that).

Heading West into the setting sun………….And it dawns on me.

That 12 pack is sure bouncing around back there.  Not enough to fly off the bed, but sure enough bouncing pretty good.  Would hate to lose it on the highway.


I get to the house, set up a chair in the shade, and proceed to open a cold can of brew.Old-FaithfulYou cannot haul beer on a 1 ton.erniefp

Any day above ground is a good day